New Movies this Weekend: Race to Witch Mt., Last House on Left, Miss March

This week we have three films opening in wide release. Race to Witch Mountain, staring Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson, the remake of Wes Craven’s Last House on the Left, and the comedy Miss March. The Watchmen is the main holdover from last week. Witch Mountain should snag the top slot, raking in $25-30 million. Watchmen will likely tumble badly – maybe even below $20 million. Last House on the Left should snag third spot – getting $15 million or so. Miss March looks like shit and will likely perform as well. Madea Goes to Jail, Slumdog Millionaire and Taken will round out the other top slots. Taken continues to have amazing legs, and could end up in the fourth slot this week. And don’t forget the amazing appeal of Paul Blart.

Here’s a rundown of the new films:

Race to Witch Mountain
This is getting decent reviews – it’s pretty much what you’d expect. The Rock is an appealing actor. He shows a nice flair for comedy and is not afraid to poke fun at himself. The film will appeal to all audiences, and isn’t too ‘kiddy’ to lure in the tweens and adults. No great shakes, but the film will play well and be a passable two hours of entertainment. And it does have Carla Gugino – who’s really hot. We’re just sorry she’s wasted on lame roles (like this one).

Last House on the Left
This is a remake of Wes Craven’s really crappy film from the early 70s – and this one looks just as a crappy. Sorry, Wes, but the Saw and Hostel franchises make Last House seem pretty tame. No doubt fans will show up – but the appear simply isn’t there – not like Jason or Freddy.

Miss March
In the old days, films like this appealed to young males who wanted to see naked chicks. Sorry, but the Internet has made this kind of shit obsolete. It’s just not unique anymore. If you want to laugh at badly written jokes and ogle a few boobs, you’re good, but don’t expect much more.