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Douchebag Lance Armstrong explains the reason he broke up with Sheryl Crow

“She wanted marriage, she wanted children and not that I didn’t want that, but I didn’t want that at that time because I had just gotten out of a marriage, I’d just had kids,” Armstrong, 37, said. “Yep we’re up against her biological clock — that pressure is what cracked it.”

The two went to a relationship counselor to try to smooth things over “but really there’s no way to counsel that situation,” he said.

“Because if somebody wants a child — man, that’s the greatest gift you can give to a woman — so who are you to stand there and say, ‘I don’t want one.’ So we were at different points in our lives. … I would have been in the future but not then.” – from Here


Dbag Lance Armstrong Will Have Surgery Wed.

Cyclist Lance Armstrong will have surgery Wednesday, and Austin sports medicine specialist Dr. Douglas Elenz, an orthopedic surgeon, will insert a plate to stabilize the collarbone.


Lance Armstrong breaks collarbone

Lance Armstrong will have surgery for a broken collarbone that will interrupt, but not necessarily derail, his preparation for the Tour de France this summer. Armstrong was with the main pack of riders Monday afternoon, chasing a breakaway on a rough, narrow country road, when he got caught in a pileup near the end of Stage 1 of the Vuelta a Castilla y Leon, a minor five-day stage race in the countryside north of Madrid. He landed heavily and sat cradling his right arm until an ambulance arrived to transport him to a local hospital. X-rays revealed a fractured middle third right collarbone, and Armstrong also suffered bruising on his hip and arm. – From ESPN


Dbag Lance Armstrong Breaks Collarbone, Will Have Surgery

Lance Armstrong fractured his collarbone Monday during a race in Spain, leaving in question his participation in the Tour de France in July. The seven-time Tour champion wrote on his Twitter feed that he will have surgery in a couple of days.


Lance Armstrong gets his ride back

Police in California have recovered Lance Armstrong’s stolen bicycle. Sacramento officers say a local resident brought the custom bike worth about $10,000 to police headquarters Wednesday morning.

Thank god, we can all relax and go about our normal lives now.


Lance Armstrong using Twitter to recapture stolen bike

lance armstrong

Lance has had his bike jacked, and he’s turned to Twitter to help find it. The response will probably be amazing. Which begs the question: does anyone find it odd that we will probably have more people out looking for Lance Armstrong’s bike than we would a kidnapped infant?

No matter – let the power of the Internet save the fraking day!

If THE_REAL_SHAQ isn’t somehow involved in the investigation, I’ll be devastated: “Whoa!! They just came to my room and said our truck was broken into and someone stole my time trial bike! Wtf?!? APB out to the twitterati…they also stole 3 others. crazy!!…A pic of the stolen tt bike. There is only one like it in the world therefore hard to pawn it off. Reward being offered.” – From Deadspin

Some time Saturday night or Sunday morning the Astana team bus, parked in an alley behind the Residence Inn Capitol, was broken into and four bikes were stolen, including Lance Armstrong’s custom-made, custom-fitted, custom-detailed Trek time-trial bike. – From LA Times

Lance Armstrong’s time-trial bike has been stolen from the Team Astana truck. It was taken during the night before Stage 1 of the Tour of California. Armstrong rode that bike to a 10th-place finish Saturday in Sacramento during the Tour prologue, his first competitive appearance in his native country since beginning his cycling comeback last month. The thieves also stole race bikes belonging to Astana teammates Steve Morabito, Yaroslav Popovych and Janez Brajkovic. – From AP


Lance Armstrong Snaps Over ‘Doping’ Question


Lance Armstrong returns to Cycling

The amazing thing is that he didn’t get any dates with famous women during the event!

They came from as far away as the United States and from as nearby as the crowded bar across the street to see Lance Armstrong return to professional cycling. According to the Adelaide police, they were 138,000 in all, but the truth was that for the vast majority of this tightly packed race it was quite a challenge to see Armstrong at all. Though he started in the front row, receiving a rousing introduction from the South Australia premier, Mike Rann, whose tone was worthier of a heavyweight fight, Armstrong was soon buried deep in the peloton: steering clear of trouble and even clearer of triumph. He ended up finishing 64th out of 133 starters in this 30-lap, 51-kilometer criterium, about 32 miles, in the heart of Adelaide that was won by Australian Robbie McEwen. But then Armstrong said he never had any intention of trying to mix it up with the true sprinters at the front on this Australian summer evening where temperatures peaked at 33 degrees Celsius (91 degrees Fahrenheit). – From International Herald Tribune

Lance Armstrong made a cautious return to professional cycling on Sunday, finishing 64th among 133 riders in a 30-mile criterium in downtown Adelaide. More than 138,000 people turned out to see Armstrong end a three-year retirement and begin a campaign targeted at his eighth Tour de France win. He was 23 seconds behind winner Robbie McEwen of Australia. He stayed well back amid a tightly-packed field throughout Sunday’s race on a tight, winding circuit around leafy Rymill Park, following team instructions to avoid any chance of crashing. – From SI.com

Seven-time Tour de France champion Lance Armstrong finished in the middle of the field in his comeback to professional cycling on Sunday after a conservative ride in the Tour Down Under’s criterium. The 37-year-old Texan, who retired after his final Tour victory in 2005, made no attempt to try to win the 32-mile race around the city streets of Adelaide, sticking to the middle of the peloton and finishing 64th out of the 133 starters. “It’s fun to get back in there, it felt good,” he told reporters. “I have trained a lot for this comeback and this race. – From ESPN


Lance Armstrong’s comeback forces Tour Down Under to beef up security

Seven-time Tour de France winner, Armstrong is expected to arrive in Australia over the weekend from Hawaii ahead of the Jan 18 start to the tour. Events South Australia general manager Hitaf Rasheed would not comment about specific security arrangements but said: “What a great situation to have with Lance Armstrong coming to Australia. “And as an organisation we will put all the (security) measures in place to make sure the event runs as smoothly as possible.” – from Telegraph


Lance Armstrong and Girlfriend Anna Hansen Expecting

Lance Armstrong’s girlfriend, Anna Hansen, is carrying the seven-time Tour de France winner’s fourth child.


Lance Armstrong’s girlfriend du-jour Anna Hansen expecting baby (photo)

anna hansen lance armstrong

Lance Armstrong and Kate Hudson parted company in July 2008. The cycling ace and seven time Tour de France winner apparently got right back up on that dating horse and began dating a woman named Anna Hansen. They have announced that they are expecting a baby together. Armstrong, a cancer survivor, met Anna through his charity work. She is a Program Manager and Recruiter for First Descents. A Colorado native, Anna loves nothing more than being outdoors, and Vail provides the perfect setting for her favorite activities which include mountain biking and snowboarding. – from Bitten

Cycling star Lance Armstrong is expecting a baby with his girlfriend, Anna Hansen, in June, according to an announcement by the seven-time Tour de France champion. It will be the fourth child for Armstrong who battled cancer in the past . “Anna and I are thrilled to confirm that we are expecting in June and our families are ecstatic and grateful,” Armstrong said. “We are very much looking forward to what 2009 brings on many fronts. We appreciate respecting our privacy, as we are both eager to celebrate the holidays as a family.” – from AFP

Diagnosed in 1996 with testicular cancer that had spread to his lungs and brain, doctors gave Armstrong less than a 50 percent chance of survival. Surgery and brutal cycles of chemotherapy saved his life. Armstrong and his former wife Kristin had three children using in vitro fertilization with sperm he had banked before his chemotherapy. – from FoxNews


Lance Armstrong to ride in Tour de France

Seven-times winner Lance Armstrong will make a Tour de France comeback next year, his spokesman told Reuters on Monday. The 37-year-old rider announced in September he was coming out of retirement for the 2009 season. – From Reuters.com

Lance Armstrong will ride in the 2009 Tour de France, marking the first time he will compete in that race and the Giro d’Italia in the same year. “I’m committed to riding for the best guy,” Armstrong said Monday, acknowledging the taxing schedule could leave him riding in a supporting role in France. – From TSN.ca