Top 10 Movies of 2008

So here’s the wrap up of the Top 10 Box Office Grossing Movies of 2008. Note, these are not the top reviewed movies, these are the top money makers world-wide… So that means a majority of these movies sucked. Here’s the countdown, with commentary (watch out YouTube segment or read below):

10. Sex and the City // $415.1 million // Warner Bros. (New Line)

I’m not the audience for this, passed on this one. Never watched the HBO series, I don’t care. PS. Sarah Jessica Parker is STILL a horseface, neigh!

9. The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian // $419.6 million // Buenva Vista

Didn’t watch this either, but I do have the Blu-ray that needs to be reviewed. Odd that Disney ditched this property — pretty good earner for the Mouse House. I enjoyed Narnia…

8. WALL-E // $507.3 million // Buena Vista

Everyone loves WALL-E. Further proof that Pixar can make and sell anything — and we consumers will bite. Will that tradition continue with UP? The first hour of WALL-E is brilliant; once they arrive on the ship, I space out a bit (especially during the scene with fat people rolling and tipping over the ship…). I still prefer Ratatouille.

7. Quantum of Solace // $534.5 million // Sony

Bond always kicks ass at the Box Office. Daniel Craig rocks, but this Bond vehicle really didn’t stick with me. A good two hours in the theater, but kinda forgot about this movie as soon as I left. Casino Royale, which I prefer, made 594.1 million.

6. Mamma Mia! // $572.1 million // Universal

I watched this on Blu-ray with my wife, her mom and sister. Fuck me! Horrible movie, great music. This is the Traveling Pants of 2008. And crap, they’re talking about a sequel! Oddly enjoy, while watching Mamma Mia, I was expecting Stellan Skarsgard to murder someone (preferably Pierce Brosnan or Christine Baranski) — thus turning the movie into a singing murder mystery. As you can tell, I was really paying attention to the actual movie…

5. Iron Man // $581.9 million // Paramount

Of course I loved this movie, WTF!? Actually, on repeat Blu-ray viewing, Iron Man doesn’t hold up — but it really is all about Robert Downey Jr. — his performance, out of the Iron Man suit, as billionaire Tony Stark is what makes this movie, not CGI or action.

4. Hancock // $624.4 million // Sony

Looks like the Scientology folks can build a new “Hancock” wing. You know, Will Smith could poop in a wrapper, package it as candy for $6 bucks at Walmart — and it’d be a big seller. This movie sucks. People are idiots. Go buy Will Smith Poop Candy at Walmart instead of watching this.

3. Kung Fu Panda // $631.9 million // Paramount/DreamWorks

I hate DreamWorks animated movies with a passion. No seriously, all them. Fart jokes, sexual innuendos, shitty animation; DreamWorks hits like Shrek or Bee Movie are for people who buy Will Smith Poop Candy at Walmart. They don’t make classics, they make annoying CGI-turds du-jour. They’re the anti-Pixar. Well, DreamWorks has redeemed themselves. Finally, they made their classic (or as close to a classic as DreamWorks can make). Great animation, great message, wasn’t expecting to enjoy this. However, WALL-E was better.

2. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull // $786.6 million // Paramount

Quite possibly The Worst Movie of the Year?! No really, phoned in, zzz plot, tired acting; thanks George and Steven for continuing to rape our childhoods…. PS. Shia LaDouchebag’s 15 minutes are up.

1. The Dark Knight // $996.8 million // Warner Bros.

Christopher Nolan’s second Batman outing tops the lists for best reviewed and top earner, not a surprise. The success was all due to Heath Ledger’s performance as the Joker. Finally, Heath has undone what Jack Nicholson’s Fat-Joker did 15 years ago. Ok, ok, let’s give Nolan some credit in taking the superhero genre and turning it into Michael Mann’s Heat. PS. Eddie Murphy will never be cast in a Nolan Batman movie. Never.