An affliction as unusual as Jeremy Piven’s sushi poisoning demands a treatment that’s equally unorthodox. And so it is that Piven has begun a rigorous medical trial to find models he wants to (therapeutically) bang. Good news, though! The NY Daily News reports that he may have settled on a healing agent that shows promise: model/waitress/SUNY dropout Ashley Chontos. Piven met the 23-year-old at a late-night birthday party for Britney Spears that he bravely attended despite crippling, play-quitting fatigue. – From Defamer

It’s so nice to know that despite the discomfort and fatigue of mercury poisoning, which forced him to “tear himself away” from his work, Jeremy Piven could still find the strength within himself to pick up a model in New York. The Pivert was on the prowl at Britney’s circus-themed birthday bash and his latest victim is model-turned-waitress Ashley Chontos. – From Perez Hilton